you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize