bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
