I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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