Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
