i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
