Can i not drive my cunt home
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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