Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
