im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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