you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
