I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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