How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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