You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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