a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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