i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Send help, water and tortillas.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
