This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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