the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
