if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
