im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
