We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
