We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I take back everything I said about communal showers
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
