Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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