Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
