Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
