we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
