I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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