how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
