You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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