Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The uberlube is also flammable
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
