it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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