Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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