No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
