Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
