I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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