Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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