I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
