It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
