i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
