I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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