I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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