Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
