Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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