Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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