ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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