Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
