Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
