I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
