you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
