It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
