you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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