My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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