i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize