This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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