I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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