Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
