You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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