they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
