Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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