I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
