You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We are two peas in an std pod
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
