Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The Olympian is in my bed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
