He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
