I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize