every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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