I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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